Tokyo Files: Lost in Pursuit

I spent close to two years living and teaching in Tokyo, and one of the best things that happened to me there was Melissa . 

We were teaching at different branches of the same company and met at a training workshop. Since she was the only other Asian girl in the group, I naturally gravitated towards her. We ended up grabbing lunch together at the konbini on the first day and hit it off immediately. I thought she was Japanese, but she turned out to be Canadian Chinese. 

We found out we didn't have many friends there or speak the language, and we became inseparable. 

We would spend our common day off exploring different neighbourhoods in Tokyo, but our favourite was Shimokitazawa. We studied Japanese together in a run-down center ran by old ladies in Azabu-Juban, giggling every time the sensei wanted us to practise a dialogue because she had to manually rewind the cassette tape and it usually took a few tries to get it right. We started a short-lived cafe journal and tried to visit as many different ones as we could. She forced me to drink my coffee black and taught me how to make drip and french-press coffee. We both love museums and saw every single exhibition at Mori Art museum in Roppongi Hills. We spent an inordinate amount of time in Zara. We haunted the English-language bookstore in Takadanobaba where I lived. We were 24 going on 14, exchanging a dozen or more e-mails every day filled with textspeak and emoticons. 

When I eventually left Japan, she presented me with a scrapbook filled with illustrations and writings about our time together. "This isn't goodbye..." she prefaced, and even left the last few pages blank for "future" use. I read the book on the plane and bawled my eyes out.

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As fate would have it, I ended up moving again to Melbourne to pursue my postgraduate studies and she married her Japanese boyfriend and move to Singapore with him. When we were eventually reunited in Singapore some 15 months later, it was like no time has passed and we simply picked up where we had left off. Until she decided it was her time to return to Montreal to take up a second degree in design.

I have been fantasizing about her husband and her relocating to New York in a few years' time and it'd be me and her taking over the streets of Manhattan again... We still have some pages left to fill!

Love,
Tricia

The best decision ever

Our engagement photoshoot in Paris by French Grey photography
Before Andrew, I dated an atheist for almost three years. 

He was very much a self-made man and took a lot of pride in his talents and achievements. Christianity, he would say over and over again, was a crutch for the helpless and weak-willed. He would tell me how proud he was of me leaving church and how I absolutely made the right decision. So I shut down the part of me that believed in God and shut up about my faith altogether.

When we broke up, he told me very matter-of-factly that I should go back to church. Knowing how he felt about Christians, his words cut me deeply. So even when I felt God's call again, I resisted Him for as long as I could. I wanted to be strong on my own, and I didn't want to prove my ex right.

And then I met Andrew. On our second date, we sat across each other in a very trendy bar on Club Street and he asked me what I believed in. I was hesistant to bring up my Christian past, but I saw no reason to lie and decided to give him the whole nine yards. I figured I had nothing to lose since I thought I would never see him again.

I told him that I had converted to Christianity in high school, and how in university I had been convinced that my calling in life was to be a missionary in Thailand. I told him that my life used to revolve around church and that I used to run small groups and lead Bible Study, but eventually I was burnt out and decided to leave church altogether. I was expecting him to write me off as a religious fanatic, but instead his eyes lit up and he said it was "very cool".

"Are you being serious, or are you being sarcastic?" I asked (in those exact words!), unsure of what to make of his response. And that's when he told me his story of being raised in a Christian household and going to youth group every week, but how college and life got in the way and he was now in a very similar situation to mine.

It felt like a huge weight lifted off my chest, because for once I didn't have to pretend about anything. My faith was no longer a "shameful secret" I carried around with me. And that's just one of the many things I love about Andrew- I can be open about my innermost thoughts and know that he would never judge me, because he's just not that kind of person.

Many weeks and countless hours of conversations later, Andrew and I realized that we had been walking on the same path, and that God had brought us together to grow in faith. It still amazes me that out of more than 7 billion people on earth, God led us to each other. But what is even more amazing is how He continues to bless us in ways we never could have imagined because we both made a commitment to walk with Him. Best decision ever.


Love,
Trish

Lost and found

Today I stumbled upon National Geographic's Tumblr account of unpublished photos dating back to a hundred years ago.

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Last year I read veteran National Geographic photographer Sam Abell's The Photographic Life and it was a most extrarordinary book. If you have 43 minutes to spare, you should watch his presentation video The Life of a Photograph- I promise you will enjoy every minute of it!

Love,
Trish

This is home, truly

See the entire photo series on Singapore by Nguan here

Struck by the simplicity of the composition and ordinariness of the subjects, these photos perfectly portray the Singapore I know and love so well.

One day, I hope to elevate the everyday and mundane into an art form like he did. 

I will miss you, sunny island.

P/S: You should also have a look at Rinko Kawauchi's sublime photography about life, memory and family.

Love,
Tricia

Hello, goodbye

Photo taken at Cheezz Studio
I met Christine at Bible Study Fellowship over a year ago. 
I was new to the group and didn't know anyone, and part of me felt like a fraud for even being there. I had left church several years ago and dated a string of non-Christians, and quite frankly, wasn't sure if I believed in God anymore. I wasn't ready for a church commitment but wanted to dip my toes in the faith again, and this is how I ended up in a room with a group of Christian women studying the Bible.
I know how to play good Christian. I even used to teach Bible Study myself. But I hadn't touched the Bible in years and wanted to remain low-key, for fear of being found out. Most of the women in the group were surprisingly shy, except for this one girl who was very vocal. I couldn't help staring at her. Whatever it was that she had, I used to have... and I wanted it again. 
It took a few weeks before I had the courage to talk to her. We ended up taking the train home together, and I found it so easy to open up to her. I spoke to her about my time teaching in Japan, doing my postgraduate studies in Australia, breaking up with the ex and meeting Andrew. 
To my surprise, she confessed to me that she had been crying at work that very morning, wondering where her life was headed. What I had shared about my life encouraged her greatly, and she knew that God was calling her to pursue her dreams like I did. 
I was floored. Here I was hoping for her to share some wisdom with me, and yet God had used me, imperfect as I was, to encourage her! That moment marked a new beginning for me, and it gave me the courage I needed to get back on track with my faith.
Our friendship grew quickly over the next few months.
I remember talking to her about my long-distance relationship with Andrew and how I wasn't sure about our future. "Trish, you know, I have a feeling he is going to propose very soon," she said, despite never having met him. And Andrew did get down on one knee and asked me to marry him not long after we had that conversation. 
In the meantime, she was applying to schools in the UK to do her masters. She spoke of her dreams of starting a fashion company in her hometown and giving back to the community. She worked hard on her portfolio and studied for the entrance exams. I couldn't be more proud when she told me she had been accepted into London College of Fashion.
We didn't know that we were both at the crossroads of our lives when we first met, and that God had plans for us that we would never imagine for ourselves. She is leaving for London in less than 2 weeks, and I for New York in a month's time. I'm so thankful that God has brought our paths together, and a new adventure awaits the both of us!
Love, Tricia

My parents' wedding

When we were young, my mother often played for us their wedding tape- right from when my dad went to pick her up from my grandparents' through the entire tea ceremony to the dinner reception. The video must have been three to four hours long, but I would watch it again and again, from start to end.
I was against the idea of hiring a videographer for our wedding in New York (why would anyone want to watch it, seriously?), but I am glad Andrew talked me into it... reliving our wedding day could make for a nice yearly ritual and a great thing to show our kids!
Also, how gorgeous was my mum as a bride? I wished she had kept her lace gown and velvet cheongsam for me to wear at my wedding!
Love, Tricia

Confessions of a reluctant bride

  Tea ceremony photos by Tinydot Photography
You know the girls who grow up dreaming of their fairy tale weddings? 
I am not one of them. I have never pictured the dress I would wear, the kind of flowers I wanted as centerpieces or the music or wedding venue. All I knew was that I wanted to marry Brian Littrell from the Backstreet Boys, but God sent me Andrew instead! 
Being very practical, the thought of all that time, effort and money spent on planning that one day of your life just seemed so... indulgent. Plus Andrew and I had enough on our plate worrying about my fiance visa application and the logistics of my relocation. I would rather be preparing for my marriage, and I would have been just as happy signing papers at City Hall with Andrew. 
But I realized the wedding wasn't just about Andrew and I. It was also about our families and friends who were eager to celebrate this once-in-a-life occasion with us. And the fact is that I am the oldest daughter and the first in the family to get married, so my Chinese guilt kicked in. Someone told me that I wouldn't want to look back ten years from now and wish that I had done something else, and she was right.
We decided to hold a small tea ceremony and lunch reception in Singapore and have our proper wedding ceremony in New York so that we could accommodate the people who mattered to us.
If you are Chinese, you will appreciate the fact that it is almost impossible to have a small wedding. My grandparents had more than ten children and each aunt and uncle has two to three children who in turn bore the same number of children- you do the Math! My initial estimate of fifty guests quickly doubled and even then we had to exclude a lot of extended family.
We tried to keep it as simple as possible. My girlfriend designed our wedding invites. Andrew wore his favourite navy suit and his fancy Edward Green shoes and I wore a cheongsam designed by Mimi of Mazzario and Badgley Mischka peep-toe heels. We booked My Humble House at the Esplanade and had both the tea ceremony and lunch there. Instead of flowers and favours, we donated the money to the Singapore Children's Cancer Foundation. 
Two of my cousins directed the guests to their tables and my friends helped with the guestbook. Andrew's dad flew in and gave a lovely opening speech. While the guests were eating, we made our rounds to say hello and took group photos. Andrew and I gave thank you speeches and then we had a champagne toast. And then it was over.
The hardest part was that because Andrew was in New York, I pretty much had to run most of the wedding errands and make a lot of decisions alone. At one point I was so stressed out that my chest broke out in nasty hives. Andrew made me see a doctor who prescribed me steroid cream and whose only advice was to "try to take it easy" (hah!).
But you know what? I have never seen my parents smile like they did that day. And the look of happiness on my parents' faces in the photos made it all worthwhile. 

P/S: If you want inspiration, visit my friend Zhing's blog Little Projects in Style. She used to be a wedding planner and spent an entire year planning her own.
P/P/S: Refinery 29 recently featured 21 City Hall weddings... I love that so many of the couples met online like we did!
Love, Tricia

Meeting The One

Our engagement photoshoot in Paris by French Grey photography

People often ask if I knew that Andrew was The One when I first met him, but the truth is that we almost didn't meet!

He first wrote me in late August 2011 because he was passing through town for work and he didn't know anyone in Singapore and wanted a "strictly-dinner buddy" (and he meant it!). I was naturally skeptical and told him that it wasn't my "thing" but gave him a list of places he could check out. He wrote me again when he landed, hoping I would change my mind but as God would have it, I had had my wisdom tooth surgery earlier that week and was in no condition to go anywhere.

And so he went on to India for two weeks and we ended up e-mailing back and forth. We got along in writing so I figured that it wouldn't hurt to meet him for dinner when he was on his way back.

The night before my first date with Andrew, I made a mental list of all the reasons why I shouldn't meet him and almost cancelled on him. However, I decided that I could always make an excuse to leave if things were awkward (I even had a girlfriend on standby to fake an emergency), and if things went well I would have made a new friend. I had no idea that this was the man that God had intended me to marry!

Andrew was the perfect gentleman- immaculately dressed, faultlessly polite and disarmingly handsome. He made sure to open doors and pull out chairs for me, listened intently to what I said and made meaningful conversation. I remember thinking to myself that whoever married him would be very, very lucky but I was also quick to put up a wall to protect myself from falling for someone who lived 10,000 miles away.

He arranged for a second date before he had to return to New York, and I made sure to invite two friends along this time. I was so determined to prove myself that I spent an entire hour going on about how I was an independent and self-reliant woman who didn't need a man. I am so thankful that Andrew did not head for the nearest exit and in spite of myself, we had a really great time together.

I said goodbye to him that night and promised to keep in touch but I thought that I would never see him again.

He completely surprised me when he emailed me once he got back to the hotel, and before he left for the airport and again when he landed in New York. Andrew says it felt completely natural to continue from where we left off... and I was definitely excited to hear from him but figured that the long-distance flirting would eventually fade out. Au contraire, our messages worked themselves into a routine and we found ourselves talking every day for at least an hour.

Days turned into weeks turned into months and before we knew what we were getting ourselves into, we agreed to be exclusive until we could see each other face-to-face again. It was a big leap of faith, and I found myself booking tickets to see him in New York in March, four months after our second date.

I'll save the rest of our story for another time. Stay tuned!

Love, 
Tricia